Monday, June 20, 2011

Who are we really?

If there is one thing about me people know to be true and a trait that will never ever change is the fact that I hate lies, I hate fakes and I most of all hate hypocrites! 


Ever come across those people who seem to change their minds all the fucking time based upon what people tell them? I got news for you...they are not just lost and having difficulties making up their damn mind, they are simply just FAKE people who are intentionally trying to please all crowds and look like assholes changing their mind all the time jumping on every fucking bandwagon available! 


Now moving past liars, because there is absolutely no need to explain that one...plain and simple...they LIE, let's go straight to hypocrites.


I LOVE finding the ones who vehemently advertise some bullshit about themselves such as, their likes and dislikes, beliefs and other things just to fuck themselves over with ONE gesture that will completely and automatically contradict every single fucking thing they say! 
Really? I mean...either you have gone through a whole damn lot of convincing for your mind to change so rapidly, or you are absolutely STUPID because you've been played well enough to have your opinions that were so high strong changed or...wow you are just a freaking hypocrite!


Which one is it really? 
Like everyone and all humans people can change their opinion about things but when you are constantly and daily advertising something and denying that passionately and then you make a stupid fucking move that PROVES you are defeating the purpose of your "blah blah blah" damn...I truly rather think you are just having a brain fart and being retarded for like a couple days before you take a damn good look at yourself and figure that shit out.


If you really have changed your mind about something, then make it fair and change your whole damn perspective otherwise rules applying just to SOME makes it sound like the most hypocritical fucking thing EVER.
And that...is just putrid on your part. Only makes you look like an idiot and my GOD you're digging your grave even farther and losing just about all of your "street cred"! 


Either way, I find it hilarious how people can't uphold their own shit.
I've been saying tons of that shit lately. Wonder what the fuck is really going on.
Myself as a person who is TRUE to everything most importantly myself, I KNOW my convictions and ideas will not fucking change...and the day any of them DO I will be the FIRST to admit that I am changing my game about certain things and will make sure the rule...is a general one. Applying to all. Not to some!
With that being said...if any of you are reading this and find this relevant...sit down and think to yourself and retrace your recent steps and see what you're doing to your own self.


I...as a great example...am the kind who doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of me. 
NEWSFLASH!!!! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING PAGEANT! I DON'T NEED YOU OR ANYONE TO LIKE ME!
So I will say what I think and whatever comes to my mind...and what I've been seeing lately.
Anyways.
Here's my token of advice to everyone ...
#1: KEEP IT REAL everyone will die and end up the same way...fucking fertilizing some cemetery's lawn
#2: DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE! Because besides bad it's just sad and ridiculous
#3: STICK TO YOUR GUNS, OR GIVE IN ALREADY!!! It's either 8....or 80....there isn't a mid term...black or white ...that is...if you have enough confidence and you are sure of your convictions and your own damn rules.


Peace to all...
xoxoxo

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Monday, May 23, 2011

...OMFG really?

You know what I love?


People who don't have a fucking clue what they are talking about. I also love people who usually have an issue with putting a name to their opinions.
Hey, anonymous people who LOVE to pop in and out of my life to fill my social media vehicles with garbage. 
This one is for you!


I wish what I had was just a persecution complex I had to work out with a therapist.
Good thing is that I don't. Bad thing ? Is that the idiots who actually take the time to persecute and stalk and try to be me...are the ones in need of psychiatric help.
Those...most CERTAINLY need to get their issues resolved with a therapist.


If you were the one on the other side, getting threats for no apparent reason, phone calls, e-mails, etc...I am positive you wouldn't sit there and open your stupid face to come over here and type things like that.
Perhaps you should identify yourself instead and put a name to your so opinionated SELF and see what you can handle then.
Why so shy? I mean...I am not shy to say HEY this is my blog, if you're not liking the reading...fuck off. 
I did not ask for your meaningless opinion nor do I care what you think about me. Since you don't have the BALLS to identify yourself.
With that I will just assume you are some middle aged loser, who's husband or wife has cheated on...or is not interested in any longer...or lives a very sad pitiful life, a very desperate for attention life if anything.
The worst part is...you are such a sad individual you will never have what I HAVE in a million years.
I am fulfilled and complete...and amazing in every way. And please don't take this as a cocky statement.
Take this as someone who is confident enough to stand up and say...I KNOW WHO I AM and WHERE I STAND!
You clearly don't. You're not even able to identify yourself.
Pose me a real threat...and come tell me that garbage face to face...we'll see then who comes out breathing in the end.
Some people really have no fucking idea who they are dealing with. And here goes some friendly advice...
You probably don't want to find out!


On that note, the day you gather as many drama queen stalkers who are jealous of your life like I have, and haters, and people who simply just wanna completely throw away their own personalities so they can try and be like you...or...who knows...when you and your 7 month old baby almost get kidnapped, or...let's see...when someone threatens to kill themselves in front of you because you do not want to be with them...and so on...perhaps THEN you will live a day in my life and then understand that who needs a therapist ...is yourself perhaps.
This is my fucking blog, I will say what I want...whenever the fuck I want...and if you don't wanna read it...too fucking bad...and if you have a problem with it...oh well figure it out. Leave ME alone, my family alone, my friends alone, and anything that has to do with me and or my name.


And oh...next time...GROW A PAIR! Name yourself ya piece of Garbage.


With THAT out of my system...next time I blog I hope to bring only positive and great things to the people who actually care to read.
Much love to all.

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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Some of them...

What do people see...when they see me? 


Truly?


I'd like to be in their heads only once, to know what it is that goes through several people's minds once they #1 first see me, #2 get to know me and then form an opinion of me #3 when they have never met me but know me and see me but perhaps have or have not yet formed an opinion of me.


I hate exposing my deepest thoughts and who I truly am to a lot of people, because that vulnerability comes right BACK.
And if you know me well you know I fucking hate that feeling.


Anyways, nothing scares me, or surprises me...unless it is really unexpected from people you don't expect it.
Happens every now and again to some...in my life, more often than I would like to admit.
I know so many people it gets hard to discern at times.
I am great at picking up on people's personalities and technically "feeling" people! 
Sometimes it gets impossible to do so. But why do I allow people to do that to ME or try to analyze me and get in so damn easily?
Even those who don't truly "speak" to me but...talk with their eyes, somehow find their way in. Even without any damn words.
Again the question....how...the fuck....do I let that shit happen? 


I am done putting up walls, absolutely done. Even because I am tough enough to automatically block that without getting hurt. But then again every once in a while...here...strolls along...someone or another and slips right through the cracks.
Must have been when I was asleep. I swear...cause my guard is never down, I've built a damn fort.


So quit making your way in if you don't want to stay. 
Don't get comfortable slipping through the cracks...and slippin' and sliding wherever you want. After all that should be a crime. 
If you got through, congratulations...now instead of hiding so you can "slip and slide" fucking own up and make your way to the top. Don't be a time wasting, free riding....free loading of my thoughts and feelings.
That just makes you a fucking asshole.


I understand that sometimes to stay away is preventing trouble, and boy do I know that...it's like preaching to the Preacher. But reality is, now and again ...the moment comes when you see my face again. And then what? Are you gonna hide and pretend you can't see? Bullshit cause we all know you can.


Gonna go back home and  pretend you don't remember the face you saw or think about the same face? While you get distracted what whatever you WISH would work out for you but...we all know in a few years...just won't change.
Nothing really can fix it. If it hasn't changed by now...no miracle...no change...no new "life", nothing.
The bottom line to this ...as I get side tracked is...wake up, there are people out there that aren't judging you. Who are feeling it through your eyes, how tired you are and how blend you feel life has been these days.


But back to me...whatever it is people believe or think I am...I might just be the opposite.
I am a friend, I am a vixen...I am a mom....I am a flirt...I am everything you want me to be...BUT what you think I should be.
Don't underestimate me, don't take me for granted. Don't assume things. 
I am everything but...a piece of meat.


Don't use me....don't abuse me...
Don't try to...


God, do I like to cover many topics in one blog? YES I do. But I haven't said anything for a few months now. Figured it was about time to stop staring at that blank page again, which I was stuck with a few months ago.
I am sure you remember that if you follow my blogs at all.


Just too many things brewing in my head...and boy do they need OUT! 


<3

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Friday, March 25, 2011

Surrounded...but yet alone.

It is not the first time I write about this.
And it probably won't be the last. The incredible feeling of segregation, separation...discrimination...just the feeling of being left out really overcomes me some days.


It has nothing to do with race, status, religion or anything of the sort actually it is just this extreme  feeling I have that some people just do not want to tell me certain things...or involve me in certain things and they like to keep me in the dark for two reasons: #1 they are afraid I will say something and that will be true and that will keep them from doing whatever or it will change their mind...or #2 they are afraid I, as a person will steal their spotlight.


Really? That is just rude and mean to say the least.
I am so damn tired of being used by almost every freakin' person I try to get to know and be nice to.  But yet they don't think it hurts me.
I rely a lot on my longtime friends but most of them aren't near me, not near enough for comfort.
Then when some people wonder why I no longer go out and just simply socialize like I once did...well here's your reason.


People use me!
News Flash ...I am a person, I have a heart, I am rather kind, I love helping, I am always rooting for my friends and hoping they have and achieve their goals and accomplish everything they want and dream, shit I am the #1 person to be there to help you however I can to get where you need...ya know? 
I just fucking hate when they take me for granted...


I also hate when the fact that I am who I am...as a whole, personality, looks, brains, heart...whatever makes a person... gets left in the dark because they fear I will come in and take it all away from them.
You know...I am rather accomplished, I do not need to take anything away from anyone, nor their moment, not their spotlight, nor their opportunities, nothing...


I know how to get my own, and I am satisfied....I've got plenty as is, the rest that comes my way are my lucky rolling rocks that are washed up my feet as I stroll through life.
And how blessed am I for having those things happening to me. Perhaps I am just not selfish, and when I tell someone I am happy for them and I am thrilled they have accomplished something amazing ...I have peace of mind that I am truly feeling happy for them without jealousy, anger, envy or hate in the background of an empty statement.
It makes no sense to me why someone would tell you something nice and wish something nice onto you and deep inside in their hearts they are bursting with jealousy and hate and envy for things that happen in your life.


Why would anyone be that selfish? Perhaps it's time they get out there and start betting harder, risking more...getting out of the safe zone.
After all that's how I've always lived my life...and that's how my entire life amazing things have happened to me, along with terrible ones also but then again...when you weigh the pros and cons...
GOOD wins! 


So please, whoever is listening out there...I am genuine. I can't lie.
I am a terrible liar. Just ask anyone around me.
If I tell you I am happy for you, it means I am....If I am with you anywhere and you are afraid that my outgoing personality will take anything away from you, please...don't worry. I have enough sense to know that it is YOUR moment to shine and I would want nothing else than to see you smile.


Contrary to other people, seeing my "friends", acquaintances and family succeed truly makes me happy.
So don't be afraid to share something with me, tell me something, ask me something, or take me along...I promise you I will be the first person to share the happy moments with you and hope and pray that your best moment shines through and that things you've always wanted to happen to you....DO happen and nothing will make me smile wider than to see that happening to the ones I love.


<3
Now I can take a deep breath! 

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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A SLICE OF LEMON...

I often rant on my blogs etc, but this time I decided to pass on something that concerns an issue that was unheard of to me, until today. Coincidence or not I decided to pass this on because I find this a HUGE risk factor.


Let me start by, today my family and I went out for a celebration at a restaurant and upon having water brought in to our table my mother noticed a simple slice of lemon already IN the water. That is when she told me, please ask the server to bring me another glass and with a fresh cut lemon in front of us.
I asked why...since that seemed strange to me and I knew to drink my water that way almost every time.


That is when instead of thinking that was another one of my mother's antics she then informed me of a VERY sad occurrence.
She told me a story related to that which made me RETHINK the way I will handle lemon and lime from now on in my life.
Not too long after that, we got home...and then while going through my e-mails my FATHER who is currently bed ridden and quadriplegic due to a very SUDDEN happening last year (mind you this happened within a matter of 3 days when he was perfectly healthy and all of a sudden ended up in the ICU for 94 days in a coma and upon waking he was quadriplegic and now recovering) either way back to the email he sent me that related the following:


" Please read this and pass it on to whoever you may know, considering I have fallen ill and until this day it is not known to us the true reason why I have initially fallen ill this serves as an alert that may save lives as I would not wish upon anyone to be in my situation or to end up dead in the worst case scenario"


Coincidentally the e-mail related to me the very same story my mother told me earlier today. But before I get to the story I asked her how she knew about this...she then told me she had learned about the story a while back while she was away through a friend. That being, she could not have possibly received the same e-mail my father forwarded me today.


Here is the story, specially if you are at the bars every night or have your drink often outside of your home...even IN your home and even your water with a hint of that lemon! 
Please pay close attention and pass this blog message to WHOEVER you know who might find this useful.


" Lemon in your cup, alert your brothers, sisters, children, parents and friends...everyone. DO NOT keep sliced lemon around anywhere, including in the fridge.


Michelle Martins C. Muniz Physical Therapist Dermato Functional Dr. (<--- The person who wrote the e-mail) 
I come through this e-mail to inform you of a disaster that unfortunately took place within my family.
I traveled with my brother last New Year's Eve (2010/2011). On Saturday 01/04/11 we went to a bar called IBIZA where a lot of beautiful young people were having fun and the environment was amazing.
Sunday morning my brother woke up with strong abdominal pain, high fever and muscular spasms. Immediately I knew that wasn't normal so I took him to the local hospital (H.S.I) since we were vacationing, a lot of exams, 4 days admitted to the hospital, I thought the Doctor's already knew what had affected him but were just speculating further therefore they were not yet telling me.


They brought up the suspicion of Salmonella, which I immediately knew couldn't have been since we had only had food at the vacation home and I was aware of the preparation.
On 01/08/11 unfortunately my brother passed away.
Since the Doctor's hadn't yet given us the full diagnosis I then got on the phone and contacted my attorney, who then called the hospital.
Then quite quickly we were able to have a meeting with the Hospital's Director.
To our surprise, this was the case: many bars and restaurants will serve their beverages from water, to soda, to beer specially the long neck types... and drinks with sliced lemons for that "special touch". 
It was then that I decided to begin researching on my own as to what it could have been other than Salmonella. 
Since I have a close friend who is also a biologist at the University that helped get to the bottom of my research faster.
Although breweries and beer labels and companies do not tell you or publish this type of research, the problem lies within the lemon slices that are not utilized as soon as they are cut.
Sometimes, in most cases they are sliced before the bars or restaurants even OPEN in the afternoon or morning and lasting through the days and nights...
The citric acid when in contact with the preservatives and stabilizers of the beer are basically a "paradise" of breeding grounds for the micro organisms already existing in the beer ( Sacarovictus Coccus Cevabacillus ativus) becoming then a lethal poison of the "draft" type.
The result is the production of an organism completely toxic to our body.
And my only suggestion is that you kindly ask your bartender or server to please slice the lemon in front of you and possibly wash the lemon prior to slicing. As long as you may watch the lemon being sliced and freshly in front of you.
This is meant to do nothing more than alert the population and prevent further intoxications and possibly death.
Help me save other lives since I was not able to help save my own brother's and pass this information on."


And that was the end of the e-mail.
Besides sadness that comes with the e-mail I am now aware of something that I can help others, specially my booze loving friends and family prevent in the near future. Do the same and please pass this on.
Give them the link to this blog entry of mine and alert whoever you may find needs to hear this.


Now I will get going...and never keeping sliced lemons in the fridge along with asking for freshly sliced lemons in front of me next time.


<3 

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

What to call them.

Often I could even say I am definitely part of the craziness, however in a totally different light...even from the inside I KNOW I am not comparable.
All anyone has to do is take a good look at me and spend longer than 10 minutes having a serious conversation with me they will know the difference.
Even the glow in my eyes, (when they are not glassy) can probably tell.


If you consider the fact that I am often stalked and harassed myself by the very same breed people perhaps would try to throw me in with...I can certainly tell you. 
God...I'd off myself if only I acted like any of the individuals who are in need of serious psychiatric help like some of them.
Here's my own definitions list.


- Psychologically damaged individuals with no life who prefer to dream about relationships they cannot attain with people they have never spent longer than 5 minutes with, within the 5 which they were seriously stalking and staring speechless while secretly hating the significant others of the ones they are in platonic love with.


- Psych Ward Material = Whom have chased not only those individuals but others who have absolutely NOTHING to do with the people they were originally stalking, but for no apparent reason they feel the need to bother, harass, threaten AND even impersonate others in order to try and be "out to get them". Unsuccessfully.


- Overweight, unsuccessful between early and late 20's females who have not succeeded in anything in life and feel tremendous rejection from the outside world, therefore they must get cooped up inside chasing every move and moment of people they will never be friends, acquainted or close to...EVER...because living a dream is easier than facing real life which would include: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE, GO WORK OUT and lose the weight that drags you behind, SOCIALIZE WITH REAL PEOPLE other than those who apparently look the same as you and spend every hour of every day plotting on how to stalk a band, get a JOB...and when you DO make sure you don't spend every dollar of your paycheck on merch.


- Crazy Twats who prefer to not only stalk the BAND but also every living human being in their family and crew who breathes the same air they do, in a desperate attempt to feel so much closer to the people they desire so. Idealistically creating a perfect world where all of them live and socialize daily, and people are perfect living human beings who never get sick, fart, shit, stink NOR look like hell when they wake up, or FIGHT or are crabby assholes from time to time who don't give a shit and actually LAUGH at many of the fatass losers standing outside the bus. (can you say: Living in a dream bubble?) 
Holy SHIT wake the fuck up! 


I could go on and on and on....but mostly that is what I know from what I have personally seen.
Now let me tell ya about the kinds I deal with.


I get stalked, threatened, harassed and looked at with stink faces all the time anonymously OR even publicly by people who somehow are tyrants against the fact that I particularly do not like to mix up with the rest of them, nor be seen with them, nor be categorized as them because clearly I am of a different tribe.
So they feel the need to go ahead and try with all their might do something within their so thought "power" to destroy me as an individual.
Insert in the background: *Evil Laugh MUAHAHAHA we are going to take over the world! And destroy the good looking chick who doesn't mix with the rest of us because we are bat shit crazy!  MUAHAHHA! 


Somehow I am not sure, but I've been told my looks play a part on why I get the hate, my personality does also...why? NO IDEA.
Why would people who do not even KNOW ME...or the little least bit about me go ahead and hate me soooo damn much?
Is it because I tell them the truth?


I was just told last year at a concert, someone in particular "Enjoyed hanging out with me at a concert because they would get attention because of my presence there!" 
REALLY? ...REALLY? ...does it ever occur to anyone I am no special, nor more special than anyone else? And that I do not want to be USED as a passport of some kind, specially somewhere I am literally NOT special at all and could care less weather I get stared at or not...since I am there purely and solely to have a good time, and listen to long amazing guitar solos that musically fulfill my musical taste.


So in unison LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE CRAZY ASS MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES!
And along with that...quit stalking people who don't give a fuck about your existence, and OH quit thinking you're so damn special ...because...i have news for you.
NO ONE IS...


and to me...not even the ones on stage are THAT special.
Humans are humans,....and treated like so in my world.
I don't give a shit if you're Jesus...I won't treat you any more special than I treat anyone around me.
THAT being said...
I am done.


And I said...good day.
Now go ahead and think whatever the fuck you want about me...cause I REALLY...don't give a shit.
I am who I am...and I will NEVER change...no matter who you are. ...





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Saturday, September 4, 2010

C...D...O...?

YES!!!
Ladies & Gentleman...I HAVE OCD!
I know...to many of you that may come out as a shock "Really? OCD? Who would have thought!"...and to most of you who already know me...you're like "Oh Heeeeeeellllll No! OCD is a mild term for your sickness girl!" If you're either of the above, you might wanna bear with me through this posting!

So when people describe OCD they mostly like to categorize that as a sickness of some kind, or perhaps a mental disorder...or even you as being "weird"!
Hmmm Really?
I AM SORRY I LOATHE BACTERIA...DIRT....DUST...AND DISORGANIZATION!
As should YOU, but then...who am I to tell anyone what to do?
I've heard it all..."Bacteria is good for you...there are certain germs that benefit you!!!"
REALLY? The only two types of germ and bacteria I will ever let in my humble abode re: #1 WHEAT GERM and LACTOBACILLUS ACIDOPHILUS! If you don't know what the latter means just google it!
So, if you're coming to my house be ready to remove your shoes, pay attention to detail while eating (even in the kitchen!) cause my ass is NOT gonna be scrubbing the floor and picking up your crumbs because you don't know how to keep your food in the plate! I already have one child and a husband to clean after!
You might get terrified when I oh so suddenly bust out the vacuum cleaner or a rag and wipe something in front of you. Don't worry, you may not have been the cause of the dirt specs...I might have just seen something that went unnoticed when I cleaned the whole house before you got here!

YES I organize things by sizes and colors, I even sharpen CRAYONS because they are uneven in the box! And of course I also color coordinate the crayons after that when I put them away.
A lil' much? Yes...I've heard it all "Monk".."weirdo"...whatever!
MAYBE!...But, at least when people walk into my house they can SIT DOWN without having a WIG stick to their butts, or gather 1000 crumbs all over them. They have clean cups to drink off of, clean toilets to sit on, clean floors where they can walk barefoot and feel a LOT more comfortable than in their tight shoes, they will be glad to eat the meal I prepare because they know my cooking surfaces are disinfected and they also wont have to worry about getting chemical contamination of any kind with BLEACH or harsh chemicals because I clean my house with ORGANIC products!

So there...which party are you on? The judgmental one that will crucify me for being too clean and organized? Or the "I endorse you're behavior" party?
Either party you join...be aware that when you come to my house you should feel comfortable...but when I go to your house...I might...JUST MIGHT bring my carpet shampooer over...or pull out your vacuum and start cleaning!

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