C...D...O...?

C...D...O...?

YES!!!
Ladies & Gentleman...I HAVE OCD!
I know...to many of you that may come out as a shock "Really? OCD? Who would have thought!"...and to most of you who already know me...you're like "Oh Heeeeeeellllll No! OCD is a mild term for your sickness girl!" If you're either of the above, you might wanna bear with me through this posting!

So when people describe OCD they mostly like to categorize that as a sickness of some kind, or perhaps a mental disorder...or even you as being "weird"!
Hmmm Really?
I AM SORRY I LOATHE BACTERIA...DIRT....DUST...AND DISORGANIZATION!
As should YOU, but then...who am I to tell anyone what to do?
I've heard it all..."Bacteria is good for you...there are certain germs that benefit you!!!"
REALLY? The only two types of germ and bacteria I will ever let in my humble abode re: #1 WHEAT GERM and LACTOBACILLUS ACIDOPHILUS! If you don't know what the latter means just google it!
So, if you're coming to my house be ready to remove your shoes, pay attention to detail while eating (even in the kitchen!) cause my ass is NOT gonna be scrubbing the floor and picking up your crumbs because you don't know how to keep your food in the plate! I already have one child and a husband to clean after!
You might get terrified when I oh so suddenly bust out the vacuum cleaner or a rag and wipe something in front of you. Don't worry, you may not have been the cause of the dirt specs...I might have just seen something that went unnoticed when I cleaned the whole house before you got here!

YES I organize things by sizes and colors, I even sharpen CRAYONS because they are uneven in the box! And of course I also color coordinate the crayons after that when I put them away.
A lil' much? Yes...I've heard it all "Monk".."weirdo"...whatever!
MAYBE!...But, at least when people walk into my house they can SIT DOWN without having a WIG stick to their butts, or gather 1000 crumbs all over them. They have clean cups to drink off of, clean toilets to sit on, clean floors where they can walk barefoot and feel a LOT more comfortable than in their tight shoes, they will be glad to eat the meal I prepare because they know my cooking surfaces are disinfected and they also wont have to worry about getting chemical contamination of any kind with BLEACH or harsh chemicals because I clean my house with ORGANIC products!

So there...which party are you on? The judgmental one that will crucify me for being too clean and organized? Or the "I endorse you're behavior" party?
Either party you join...be aware that when you come to my house you should feel comfortable...but when I go to your house...I might...JUST MIGHT bring my carpet shampooer over...or pull out your vacuum and start cleaning!

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A "pity tip"

A "pity tip"

Ok, so apparently there are more people interested in knowing what goes on in my daily life than my mother and nosey haters!

So in celebration to that I decided to take a hint from my dear friends and BLOG.

Wow...what else right?

And thanks to my friend "Tree" (@Lyrical_Gangsta , follow her now!) I figured today I would talk about "pity tips".

Have you ever been a victim of "pity tipping"? And what I mean by that is you go out and your server at the restaurant you are dining in is so busted, ugly, sad, unfortunate, unhappy, jacked up or anything that makes them look absolutely MISERABLE that you can't help but feel compelled to help them out!

And when I say miserable I mean...miserable in life, or in their jobs and they are really working that job because they have like 25G's in student loans and credit cards and with too many shoes in the closet and a newborn baby out of wedlock waiting to be fed at home?

Or perhaps they were just born so unfortunetely ugly you actually feel bad for them?

Well...I am not Miss USA here but some days I would like to feel good about myself and say "Hey ...at least I don't look like THAT!"

Well last night my family and I went to our favorite Mexican Restaurant (VIVA LA RAZA! WOOT! <-- no I am NOT Mexican, nor am I Latin...I just figured I would support the Latinos whose great culture does help make this country what it is ...GREAT!)...anyways, we we're doing just great with the whole routine 1st Buss Boy brings chips and salsa, 2nd comes server and asks "Would you like anything to drink?"

All was well, until I decided to actually look at my server and answer his question!!!

I swear to you I have never...EVER....EVER in my lifetime seen a person as cross eyed as he was.

He was so cross eyed that when he asked ME if I wanted anything to drink...I almost wanted to make sure he wasn't asking my husband!

I automatically felt every single BAD feeling someone can possibly feel in life upon looking at him...among those: guilt (for being born with straight eyes!), shame (because I couldn't look at him!), pity...OH PITY...you consume ME!

I am a sucker for people with issues...but I have only ONE problem...I can't be smooth about it. Like... I really really CAN'T!

I was praying he wouldn't stick around long before I decided to ask how HARD it was to carry the trays and walk the line? Goodness forbid he was ever caught drunk driving...HOW could a police officer EVER EVER EVER have the heart to issue him a ticket if he can't walk a straight line? Or drive straight? ... above all...can he even DRIVE?

Anyways...after dinner...I was rummaging through my wallet with a collection of singles (NO I AM NOT A STRIPPER I just apparently collect a lot of change!)...and upon looking at a 28 dollar check...I felt obliged to leave more than the required tip...so, instead of pulling out my average $3 dollar singles and droppin' it on the table,...I pulled 5!

YES! An extra 2 dollars. Did he deserve it? Maybe not any more than any other server working that night, but then again...HE WAS CROSS EYED.

When I got in the car and told my husband what I did...he just about cried laughing...

My answer was: "Well...maybe I won't feel so bad if I try and justify the tip with anything other than his cross eyed-ness, he DID bring one of our drinks on top of his head...so let's believe the extra 2 were for the trick!"

And that was THAT.

Then today I thought to myself, if every single table he serves feels the same way I do, he can quite possibly be the best payed server in the whole VALLEY!

KUDOS to you cross-eyed server...you probably have a bigger house and a better car than we do by now.

<3 Thank you for taking the time!

PS: Comments are WELCOME, suggestions are welcome and Topic Suggestions also!

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